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In this issue: 1. Erik
tries to explain why the hell his new record isn't here yet
2. These jobs aren't all they're cracked up to be
3. Oh man, Deep's been working too hard this month...
Erik's New Record (And the Stories
get Longer...)
So I've been getting this e-mail
a lot. "Erik when the hell is this new record going to be ready?"
Well I don't mean that I got one or two e-mails like this. I got
A LOT of them. So it got me thinking. Yeah, why the hell isn't
this record in my hot little hands making me some money. Well I
started writing this record almost immediately after I started selling
"Tales from the Whaleshark". That of course was in May
2001. Well hell, it's almost two years later and It's still not
finished. So let me fill in those of you who've never recorded a
cd before why it's such a pain in the ass to get a record finished.
"Well Erik, my friend records all of his own stuff
and it hardly costs him anything and this guys I know said..."
Whatever. On "Tales" I tried to keep my costs down as
much as possible and hurry as fast as I could go. As a result there's
about a half a dozen parts on that record that make me cringe every time
I hear them. Hell, there's one song that the guitars are out of
tune slightly, just enough to drive me nuts (I'll let you figure out which
one on your own). Still I somehow managed to get the vibe across
that I wanted and I've been lucky enough to sell a few thousand of them
despite it's short comings.
So when it finally came time to slap my money
down and hit the studio I wanted to make sure I was ready this time.
So I worked. And I worked. And then I worked some more.
When I had the money, a nice little condo came up for sale while I simultaneously
plotted to kill my roommate for not paying his share of the back rent.
Christ I'm approaching 30 and still worrying if my loser roommate can
pay his bills. As you may guess, I decided to blow all my record
dough on that condo. Great! Now I'm back at square one.
Except now I'm actually broke and in debt as well. Well then it's
work work work work. Except the fall was soooo awful as far
as tourism goes that we all lost a bunch of money for lack of work.
Well we finally get through fall only to get whacked with the worst winter
in about 8 years. Seeing as how 75% of my income comes from cocktail
cruises and other boat related activities; and seeing as how you can't
have a cocktail cruise in 35 knots of wind... Aarrrgh!!!
All said and done we got the record recorded
in 10 days. After of course, running all over this island looking
for a space to set up a drum kit that didn't drive all of our neighbors
around us nuts. We settled on a little room (aka big closet) and
managed to pull off the drums in four days. Then we set up in my
house for the remainder of the week. We just barely got it finished
a few hours before my recording engineer Lynn had to get back on a plane
to Minneapolis. Then it was time for the artwork. I'd get
a design back then change this, then change that. I had to be absolutely
sure it was what I wanted (I can be such a pain in the ass sometimes).
Then I sent the proofs off to the reproduction people. After 2 weeks
I get a printed copy back and then see that I had a bunch of the lyrics
missing and at one point had an entire wrong paragraph in there.
Captain dumbass should have proofread everything first. Well it
was back to the repro man and another week later got my second set of
proofs back. That was last week. Finally I still don't have
the mixed / mastered copy in my hands yet. Just a couple more days,
just a couple more days...
So where the hell does that leave us? It's
now March 6th and I'm supposed to be debuting my new record in CA in less
than a month and I'm freaking out. Will it be done? Will I
have a heart attack before then? Well tune in next week for the
dramatic conclusion to this quandary. Same Whaleshark time, same
Whaleshark channel... In the meantime I'm going to get started on
the next "New Record".
The Whaleshark
New Back Cover
Erik’s note: If you remember
in the past few Anchor Drags issues, Capt Deep and myself have been talking
frequently about the nasty weather we’ve be getting this winter
in Maui. Well it hasn’t gotten any better. (Of course the people
from cold places would argue about who has the worst weather.) The following
story was taken from the Maui news and happened on one of those particularly
shitty mornings…
Rescuers find divers
swept away by strong Current:
Trip starts at Molokini, ends 6 hours later off Kahoolawe
By Edwin Tanji
MAALAEA – Eight scuba divers caught in a fast running
current were hauled out of the ocean off Kahoolawe at about 3:30 pm Saturday,
six hours after they were reported missing by their dive boat. Jeff Moore,
captain of the Maui Diamond II, said 2 instructors with his crew and six
visitors went down on the backside of Molokini islet at about 9am for
what was supposed to be a 40-minute underwater tour.
"They were supposed to be down to 60 feet
for 40 minutes. He profile was correct, except for the current,"
he said. The dive group was caught in a strong current that pulled
them well away from their dive spot towards Kahoolawe about four miles
from Molokini. Captain Kelly Bryce, with the Prince Kuhio tour boat, said
he heard about the missing divers and volunteered to assist in the search
after dropping a load of customers at Maalaea Harbor.
As the Kuhio headed toward Kahoolawe, where Bryce
suspected the divers might be found, the searchers received a call from
the coast guard that an HH-65 Dolphin helicopter out of Barbers point
Oahu had sighted the group in the water and dropped smoke flares and other
rescue gear to help the boats locate them.
The Kuhio and the Piper, a charter boat operated
by Captain Steve Avichouser, pulled the group out to bring them back to
Maalaea harbor. None of the divers were injured as they were pulled
by the current more than seven miles from Molokini. "When they
came back, they asked for a second dive," Moore said.
Bryce said the ocean conditions made the search
and rescue effort difficult. "It’s smoking out here,"
he said as the Prince Kuhio was headed back into Maalaea. Chief
petty Officer Tony Ochoa, with Coast Guard Station Maalaea, said swells
were running 6 to 8 feet with the winds blowing at 32 to 38 mph when the
missing divers were located. "The instructors with them kept
them all together, which was a good thing," he said.
He said there was a flotilla of volunteers assisting
the Coast Guard, which sent out the helicopter, a C-130 Hercules search
plane and a 25 foot rescue boat from the Maalaea station. The Maui Fire
Department Air One helicopter also assisted in the search effort, along
with a number of other private boats besides the Kuhio and Piper, he said.
Moore said when the dive group failed to return to the Maui Diamond II,
he called the coast Guard and began searching the ocean downwind from
where they had gone in. He said he had not anticipated that the
current was pulling the group in another direction.
But Katie Velasquez, a naturalist with the Prince Kuhio, said Bryce was
familiar with the currents that run through the Alalakeiki Channel and
headed to an area just north of Kahoolawe. "The helicopter
spotted them off Kahoolawe while we were about a half mile off,"
she said. Moore said his two instructors were well trained in procedures
to follow, including the need to keep the group together. He also
said he appreciated all the assistance. "I have to give my thanks
to the professionalism of all the people who were helping," he said.
Coast Guard Lt. Commander Todd Offut, senior investigating officer, said
he will conduct an investigation of the incident because it involved a
licensed boat operator. End
More Erik’s notes: Now when we (harbor people) first heard about
what was going on at Molokini, everybody was sort of dumfounded. After
all the people in this story are people we work with and socialize with
on a regular basis. Everyone’s hearts hit the ground when heard
the divers were missing. After all, it could happen to the best of us
on any given day snorkeling. Luckily there was a happy ending this time.
What the article didn’t stress was how many other charter boats
volunteered to hit that nasty water to go look for those people. There’s
a huge camaraderie among boat Captains when the need arises, even if we
give each other loads of shit and jabbing day to day. It feels good to
be a part of that.
Aloha E
(Erik's note: Deep has been
under a lot of stress lately. This story is not for the weak stomached.
I got a little queasy myself while reading it. You could say it brought
me back... Readers beware!)
Aloha Landlubbers, it's Deep
Banana back again and hoping you're all doing fine in that freezing ass
weather! March has been a very busy month for all of us out here. I started
a new job as Master Captain of the Spirit of Lahaina. A 66-foot
long, 28 foot wide power catamaran. Although the boat is brand spanking
new it’s got its typical boat problems, and I’ve been working
about 60 to 70 hours a week at the task of getting her up and running.
Also this month my computer bit the big bullet and I’ve had no way
to write or get to the Internet. Since I’ve forgotten how to operate
a pencil my newsletter this month is way late and the Whale shark is way
pissed at me, but never fear, I came up with something fun and easy for
your reading pleasure.
TALES OF THE PROJECTILE VOMIT!!!!!!
1988, 100-ton vessel Coral See; Twenty-seven
Japanese get sick and turn a pea soup green color. They lie down on the
upper deck in front of 80 American passengers and refuse to move. They
all vomit on the deck.
1989, 100-ton vessel Coral See; A couple of days
after a hurricane passes by we are trying to run a charter. The fuel filters
on the main engines clog up from the boat bouncing around and dirt in
the fuel tank. The engines die and I go down into the 120-degree engine
room that smells like fuel and oil. I brought my hangover with me. While
lying on my back and the boat rolling from side to side I vomit into the
engine bilge. After I change the fuel filters I go back to the pilothouse
and vomit into the trashcan in front of my passengers. They also in turn
begin to vomit.
1989,100 ton vessel Coral See; During a snorkel
charter to the toilet bowl Molokini Crater my crewmate takes a hit from
a Man of War, one of the most toxic jellyfish in the ocean, right on her
ass. She said it felt like someone was putting out a cigarette in her
butt. She gets sick and vomits and shakes uncontrollably.
1990-1992, 100 ton vessel Spirit of Windjammer;
A three-masted schooner that rolls like a pig (see picture) and gets everybody
sick all the time. While trying to clear a clogged toilet in the ladies
head I have my hand in a plastic bag and I’m up to my elbow in the
toilet. I pull out a handful of puke, a turd, and a used tampon. I vomit
when I realize the bag had broken.
1993, 36 ton dive boat Zephrus; While hitting
on a married blonde gal she vomits on my helm station and myself.
1997, 80 ton Atlantis IX submersible; I was sitting
in the co-pilot position of the submarine at the back of the boat. We
were at a depth of about 120 feet when the aft hatch, which was right
over my head, sprung a leak. As the water gushed in we did an emergency
assent. Several people pissed themselves. It does not smell good in an
enclosed space.
2000-2002, 50 ton vessel Ocean Spirit;
While taking a snorkel charter from the famous shithole, Molokini Crater,
to Olowalu, it began to get very rough. We had a very crowded boat of
about a 100 passengers. There was no room on the upper deck or the lower
deck. A five-year-old kid vomited on the food in the buffet line and it
started a chain reaction. Everybody on the lower deck started vomiting
on each other. They started hanging their heads out the windows to do
the big vomit. When the upper deck people started vomiting it started
blowing in the 30 knots of wind coming across the deck and it sprayed
everybody including crew and myself. When the upper deck people started
vomiting over the side it hit the people vomiting out of the window down
below in the back of the head. It resembled a scene out of a Stephen King
movie only it was really happening.
Well think you’re ready to become a tourist
boat captain? Lets all go do lunch sometime and while we’re eating
I’ll tell you more. Arrrgh, I’m late for work…
Deep
deep_banana@excite.com
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